I hated school. I love
toned girls! had trouble sitting still in my seat and every lesson was a study in boredom, french class was the worst. The only good thing about french class was the supply teachers. My favourite trick was to raise my hand and ask in my most earnest voice, "Mademoiselle; how do you say seal in french?" The answer would always be 'un phoque,' pronounced fuck. No matter how often I pulled this stunt it never got old. My classmates always got a kick out of it too, all except for Paula, the little brown noser sat beside me until she asked to be assigned a new seat. She had absolutely no sense of humour and would glare at me whenever I pranked a teacher. I made it my mission in life to think of novel and innovative ways to bring levity to the classroom, Paula was less amused than the teachers. She was such a spoilsport!
Needless to say I soon became very well acquainted with the vice principal, Mr. Richards, who I called Uncle Dick. The first time I was saw
fitness girls to the office I was really quite nervous. When uncle Dick called me in I got flustered and sat down in his seat, behind his desk. I realised my mistake as soon as I sat down and found his family staring back at me from inside a picture frame. There was nothing to do other than brazen it out and pretend to be completely oblivious. Uncle Dick sat down across from me and we each pretended we were in the appropriate chairs. When his secretary brought him my file she looked askance but said nothing. A couple of kids waiting on the bench outside of Uncle Dick's office saw me sitting on his chair when the secretary opened the door. Their eyes widened and their mouths dropped open. So that was my introduction to public school's disciplinary system. Many detentions, 'I must not' lines and essays soon followed
horny girls . My father got so accustomed to phone calls from school that he was on a first name basis with Uncle Dick and his secretary.
Somehow word got around about the office seating mix-up and the story got wildly exaggerated. The story went that I seated myself in Uncle Dick's chair and put my feet up on his desk, I of coarse never tried to set the record straight, but I did insist that I hadn't lit up a smoke and puffed away while being lectured. It was grade two after all!
Even though my antics exasperated my teachers and Uncle Dick, he joked after one of our 'meetings' that to save time he should just assign me punishments in advance. Paula seemed to resent me even more than the teachers did, go figure.
Something happened to Paula during the summer between grades four and five. She changed a lot, she became absolutely, well just absolutely interesting. I had always done the bare minimum to pass and go on to the next grade but Paula had become such a distraction that even my usual minimal attention to school work became impossible, I was in danger of failing grade five.
The funny thing is that I spent so much time concentrating on Paula that I forgot about my
pretty girls calling, tormenting the teachers. I didn't see Uncle Dick for weeks on end so I was surprised when the intercom paged me to the office. For once Uncle Dick didn't keep me waiting on the bench outside his office, but ushered me in right away. He sat there and smirked like he had finally gotten one over on me. He sort of did. He started by reviewing my rather limited recent academic achievements and then he went in for the kill. He was a smart old bastard and he knew about my new found fascination with Paula, so he used me against myself. He didn't yell or threaten like he had in the past, he just said in quiet tones, "You know that girl will never talk to you if you don't smarten up." That was it.
So I did 'smarten up'. I quit
this girl acting up in class, I started to do some of my homework and I actually paid attention to the teachers and their lessons. Paula never did speak to me, or perhaps it was that I was too chicken to talk to her, but I did manage to pass grade five.
