You Might Be a Weed Mooch When...
Seeing as recreational cannabis is still largely outlawed in the US, it is disheartening to think of the number of people not unable to get the high nutrition that they require to get through the day. But here are the mooches, always ready to partake in the wealth of those more fortunate in the weed department.
Your mate has always been known for having the best weed, and he is definitely going to deliver some top-notch weed whenever he comes, but he sure as hell doesn't just want you to sit back and wait for him to always bring the weed. And probably, except for only the government, there is nothing that makes us feel more disrespected than a weed mooch. So, the government, and weed mooches, are without a doubt the two most despised bodies in the weed community.
WHAT OR WHO IS A MOOCH?
A mooch, broadly speaking, is a person who is always talking, always ready to collect without ever doing the same. A mooch always acts selfishly to make use of the opportunities they are given, and if they are ever confronted about their attitude, they tend to find it very offensive. A mooch is an individual who would still get shocked by hearing a 'no' for the first time after hearing a thousand 'yes.'
You should never want to be considered a mooch. It is not a good way to treat yourself, other people, or the world in general.
There is a high chance that you are a cannabis mooch if the above sounds familiar to you or someone that sounds like it. I will share five characteristics, so you know for sure, and to put an end to it.
FIRST, YOU NEVER PURCHASE WEED, BUT YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO GET HIGH.
This truly is the greatest sign that you are a cannabis mooch. If you are always present in the 'session,' but you always come empty-handed, that is typical weed mooch behavior. Also, if all you contribute is joint papers and blunt wraps, and never contribute any flower, then you are a cannabis mooch.
In truth, your friends who are always bringing the weed are probably not even getting too mad about the amount of their stash you burn through because, after all, smoking is more fun with people, but they will silently be annoyed how you have never thought of coming with even a little gram to the session to roll up in respect of all the other times you haven't.
SECOND, YOU HAVE THE SUPERPOWER OF APPEARING WHEN PEOPLE START SMOKING
Notice when you began smoking, and you were probably working with a $25 budget per week before you started finding various ways to level up. And at that point, you could never afford to buy (top quality) weed, but one way or the other (mostly one way), you were always high. That is because, somehow, you always had exceptional timing for appearing at a friend's crib just when the joint was being lit. It must feel really crappy but it is the reality you live in, and you probably know you are the worst for it.
If whenever some joint gets lit, you automatically come through with your weed enthusiasm, you are definitely a weed mooch. And you can evolve from that, my friend, trust me.
THIRD, YOU MAKE THE WEED BURN OUT FAST
People who don't purchase their own weed often do not follow the properness that would be inherited the very first time you burned a joint. This is because they do not be smoking in their spot by themselves, so they lack knowledge on the proper seed to inhale and the ideal airflow required to safeguard a perfectly pearled paper.
As a result of this, you just have then sat at one corner sucking on the tip of the joint like it's a Capri Sun, eventually leading to an unbalanced burn and a huge waste of great weed. Please stop it.
FOURTH, YOUR BRAIN CAN NOT FOCUS WHEN WEED IS IN THE AIR
If you go out often in search of opportunities to get some free weed, any time the smell of inflamed weed enters your nose, you are going to get anxious and distracted. You will be on edge. It happens because you do not know the next time you might get to. Smoke again or where your smoke will come from, so you have to seize the opportunity, or Carpe Inggris (seize the fire) as the Latin will say, you might spend the night sober.
FIFTH BUT NOT THE LEAST, YOU WILL SHARE A JOINT WITH ANYONE THAT WILL LET YOU
Finally, one of the biggest tells that shows that you are a weed mooch is that you will accept an invitation to smoke from literally anybody that will offer you a stick. You would not even care if their hygiene or health records are up to standard. Neither do you care about the type of weed that is in the joint, how it was grown, nor who grew it? None of that is of your concern. You just want to smoke.
A weed mooch does not care about weed that ticks all the boxes (they don't even know the boxes). They only care about what is available and if they can get on it.
BOTTOM LINE
Quite unfortunately, although cannabis does grow on trees, it is not that cheap to grow or straight up purchase from the weed shop in the neighborhood. So that stoner generosity of your friend can be somewhat expensive.
The story's main point is that you should not be a weed mooch. Mooching is a terrible way to have a part in a community built on sharing. Even though you may not be able to afford to smoke as frequently as you might like, and you know the homies will always welcome you with open arms to burn up with them, at least try to pull up with a surprise bag here and there to show your appreciation. It says a lot.
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