The Greench hated Dankmas! The whole Dankmas season! Now, please don't ask why. There were plenty of reasons. It could be his head wasn't screwed on quite right. It could be, perhaps, that his wallet was tight. But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that his profit margins were two sizes too small.

Trump’s executive order reclassifying weed as a Schedule III substance is breakthrough news for patients, researchers, and the cannabis industry as a whole. It doesn’t legalize weed nor does it legalize recreational use, but by removing federal barriers to research, it helps us progress so much faster.

Just when you thought the cannabis legalization train was unstoppable, reality is about to slap you in the face. According to a recent Vice article, several states are considering repealing their legal cannabis markets in 2026. That's right—not just pausing expansion, not just adding more regulations, but actually rolling back legalization entirely and returning to prohibition.

So Trump is allegedly about to sign an executive order rescheduling marijuana to Schedule III, and we're supposed to celebrate this as some kind of victory for cannabis reform. Let me be crystal clear: this isn't a win for anyone except Big Pharma and the massive cannabis corporations that have been lobbying for this exact outcome for years.

Cannabis just took a major blow. After years of operating in a legal gray area that allowed hemp-derived THC products to flourish, Congress decided to slam the door shut with a ban set to take effect in 2026. But here's the kicker: this ban might be one of the most spectacularly unenforceable pieces of legislation in recent history. And in trying to "protect the children" with this ban, the government is about to hand a $32 billion industry directly to the black market and the cartels they claim to be fighting.

A group of lawmakers recently sent Trump a letter urging him not to reschedule cannabis because it would send "the wrong message to the kids." You know what? I actually agree that cannabis shouldn't be rescheduled—but not for their reasons. Cannabis should be completely descheduled, removed from the Controlled Substances Act entirely, because it's not a "substance" in the pharmaceutical sense. It's a plant.

In October 2022, President Biden issued a proclamation pardoning all prior federal offenses of simple marijuana possession. He also called on governors to issue similar pardons for state offenses and directed the Department of Health and Human Services and the Attorney General to review marijuana's classification under federal law.

For months, he's been dangling the carrot of rescheduling cannabis from Schedule I to III, teasing it like the Epstein files or his "no new wars" pledge—empty calories for the faithful. A GOP congressional leader even called it "cautiously optimistic," framing it as an opioid alternative to keep the base nodding along. But peel back the foil, and it's clear: this is Pharma's wet dream.

Let me show you what state-sponsored propaganda looks like in 2025. Singapore's Central Narcotics Bureau recently published an infographic titled "Understanding Medical Cannabis" that's so packed with cherry-picked data, misleading claims, and deliberate omissions that it deserves a thorough dissection

Here's what really stings: many Americans genuinely believed they were voting for something different. Trump's campaign promises included releasing the Epstein list and reforming cannabis policy. "We'll get the Epstein list public," he said. "We'll reform cannabis," he promised.