RIPPED IN HALF – A Grower’s Nightmare!
Ask any cannabis grower and they will tell you that “The Ladies” are very special and require a delicate hand. Some growers go above and beyond to make sure that the ladies are being taken care of – with just enough resistance to grow big and strong and with their every need taken care of.
The ideal grow is where the grower provides the right circumstances so that the cannabis plant can do what it does best – produce cannabinoids. Of course – not everybody works with surgical precision, yet this does not mean that these growers are any less attached to their plants.
The other day – I wrote a blog about “What if your plants were sentient” where I spoke about Panphysicism and how consciousness is intrinsically engrained within our reality. Whether this is true or not is irrelevant to the cannabis grower because “they know” that the plants are alive. They let you know when they are thirsty, they show you when their hungry and when “little nasties” try to impede their growth.
It’s the responsibility of the good grower to listen to the plant and adjust accordingly. Within this realm of responsibility comes a myriad of minor rituals involving – Lighting, Irrigation, pH Levels, etc. However, one of the more satisfying rituals is training.
When a cannabis grower starts seeing the fruits of the labor – specifically in that a plant responds favorably – there is a deeper sense of holy communion between the grower and the plant. By training we’re referring to a wide range of techniques including; lollipopping, LST, SCROG, Bonsai, Monster Cropping, etc.
Whenever a grower makes an “adjustment” – there’s a few days delay between the response. “Did I do too much? FUCK! DID I JUST KILL HER!” These are thoughts that happen the first few times you begin training. Eventually, you become comfortable with it, and learn when is enough and when is too much. A few failed attempts will typically set you straight real quickly.
Nonetheless – there is an entire systematic and orderly, almost ritualistic nature of growing cannabis. I was currently doing quite well with a few plants of mine – that I have been training for well over a month.
I just topped it for the third time and was very pleased with the set up, the progress and thought to myself… “Maybe in a month or a month and a half I’ll flower…”
And then came Eris…
I was blissfully watching television – no, nothing on the screen, just the television – talking about whatever was in my mind at that time when suddenly; BLAM! CRASH! WHATEVER TUMBLING-SHIT SOUND LIKE!
I quickly looked at my wife. Her expression of “WTF WAS THAT!” was all I needed to get the adrenaline pumping. I propped myself up and gazelle-ed my way up the stairs and into the Office/Grow room I’ve got going on.
As I spilled into the room I noticed the tragedy. The Shelf attached to the wall decided to succumb to the whims of gravity and come crashing down. The bottom of this particular shelf was also the anchoring points for the lights.
FORTUNATELY – the shelf “sorta broke” and part of it was still attached to the wall. This saved the lights from breaking. Of course – they are just CFL lights – but still.
What was on top of the shelf however, nose-dived to the floor and hit the grate that I had in front of the plants to protect them from my cannabis-leaf-munching cats (and dog). That grate – was attached to the stems that was pulling half of the cannabis plant to one side a-la-LTS.
With the force of the “shit on top of the shelf” – the grate was sent hurling forward and with it…RIPPED MY PLANTS IN HALF!
Oh the horror! The agony! The sheer grief that choked my throat.
“The ladies?”
Picking up the carnage
To be honest – my wife and I both panicked. My inner pessimist came out screaming, “What’s the fucking point of existing!” whereas my wife tried to “clone the wreckage” while not having any root hormone on hand…sadly…her home remedy didn’t take.
I eventually pulled myself together and started to assess the damage and realized…”well, the plant was ripped in half…but she’s still kicking. Both of them!”
I eventually re-assembled the lights and watered them a bit, gave them some love..and cried myself to sleep. It was a tragedy.
Being Grateful in times of strife
Fortunatley – both my wife and I practice mindfulness and gratitude and thought to ourselves – “Thank the ganja gods that our plants are still alive….and that a few weeks earlier I took 2 other plants outdoors (and they are doing fine!)”
I realized in that moment – that even though you meticulously plan for something, whether growing a single cannabis plant or running a country…the universe is ultimately governed by much more random and chaotic events than we can imagine.
We feel save within the illusion of our constructs – but when that apple comes rolling in on the floor…the best is to accept what cannot be changed, focus on what is good and keep on growing.
The mishap set me back – but now I’m going to crop out those plants as a symbol that no matter what happens in life, we can always keep on growing.
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