What’s in a Name? – The Stoner’s Rite of Naming your Bong
“A Bong is an Extension of your Personality”. This goes for any smoking gear that actually cost you some money. Perhaps you bought a new glass pipe or bubbler, a new vaporizer or an epic bong; giving it a name is giving it a personality and can definitely increase the value of the experience when using it.
I for one have had the pleasure of many different bongs and devices and my collection was quite robust.
Throughout the years many of my “friends” broke or got lost or stolen, but I still remember the good times I shared with them when they were in my possession.
I personally believe it’s a stoner rite to name your bong and throughout this article will explain some of the elements that go into naming a bong.
What’s in a name?
A name is identity. What we call things give it meaning, context and increase the depth of the experience. Typically, stoners name their bongs with some connection to their own personality, whether they derive that connection from a show, song, person or place.
This in turn creates a sense of comradery with the piece. It makes the smoking session more special in the long run and as time continues, the value of the bong increases.
Giving Life to inanimate objects
Have you ever driven on a road and suddenly hit a pothole? What’s the first reaction that typically occurs? You “feel it”. You might say something like, “ouch” to express the emotion that was generated with the damage that occurred to your property.
This is because we as humans tend to “breathe life” into material objects. A sense of existential transference to the inanimate.
The same is true for your bongs. Over time, you assign personality to the bong and give it a character. You stop referring to it as an “it” and refer to it by its name. If someone bumps it too hard, you immediately get angry and caution them to be more careful.
Your bong grows on you and becomes an integral part of your smoking rituals. It can be a friend in hard times or merely the tool to take the edge off of life. Nonetheless, by giving your bong a name you will, in some way, create a new “entity” that will accompany you in absolute silence throughout every meaningful experience in your life.
How to name your bong?
As mentioned, stoners typically draw from their own life experiences to give a name to their bongs. Over the years I have named many bongs however my latest piece is by far my favorite. The T.A.R.D.I.S is the most expensive bong I ever purchased costing me well over $250. Sure, not the most expensive bong on the market, but definitely the most expensive one I ever bought.
This bong is special. Before, I named it…it used to get me high. Now that it has an identity it sends me into another realm every time I take a rip from its gigantic bowl.
But how do you name a bong?
The process, at least for me, is quite simple. At first, when I’m at the headshop I identify the bong that “calls to me”. It’s something that you can imagine sitting in your room.
Once you purchased the bong, you can’t just give it a name. You have to first use it before you can name it. You don’t know how it will hit, or what type of personality you will assign it unless you take it for a spin.
With the T.A.R.D.I.S I did just that. I took a massive rip from the beast and it got me floating on cloud nine. Immediately the name came to me, most probably because I was binging Doctor Who that weekend, and I knew that my bong would be called the T.A.R.D.I.S.
The same held true for all my other pieces,
Wesley Pipes (From Half Baked)
Drago (A hand crafted dragon pipe)
The Tomahawk (A Chillum that was shaped like an ancient horn of sorts)
The Spook (My Pax Vaporizer – because it makes spooky vapor)
Dank Vapor (My other Vaporizer – Light Saver Vape)
The Devastator (A Gravity Bong I had that will leave you incapacitated for hours)
The list goes on. I have named so many pieces that to remember them all is quite difficult. I’m just pointing out that if you name your smoking pieces, you provide a bit more color to your world.
The only real problem with naming your smoking gear is that if they get lost or stolen…it can actually hurt. There have been many “fallen friends” in my bong collection that actually effected my mood for a few days. Especially when it was lost in a moronic way, like someone knocking it over because they were too baked or something similar.
Nonetheless, I always name my pieces in order to give it that “extra oomph” and personality to my bongs. I’d love to hear some of the ideas you have for names so why don’t you list them in the comment section below.
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