Through The Eyes Of A Stoner, Part #1

"Hot Fuzz" (This is part #1 in a new series called "Through The Eyes Of A Stoner)

I got pulled over the other day.

I knew it was going to happen too. The highway patrolman was sitting right there there on the side of the merge lane scanning plates and as soon as my old jalopy comes clunking past, he whips into traffic like an Ethiopian after a runaway doughnut.

It was then I knew the fuzz was about to fuck me.

I mean, I didn't have anything on me so it wasn't that I was afraid of, but let's just say that when you look like I do you sort of expect the police to fuck with ya. Just for a moment, if you will, get yourself a mental image of what your sterotypical pot smoker looks like. Got it? Well that's me. Doesn't really matter the genre of sterotype, either... Rasta, hippie, skater...when you see me, one of the first things you'd probably think was, "This guy knows where the bud's at." Sometimes you know a weed head when you see one and well, basically, that's me.

Before he gets out of his car I pull off my Lennon sunnies. You must be a dope smoker if you wear Lennon sunnies. The cop cannot see me in Lennon sunnies. Check my eyes in the mirror. Red? Of course.

This is going to end badly for me.

As he walks up I wonder if I should try and take a quick snap for my Instagram account. Probably unwise, stay calm. I reach for my I.D. as he nears and then the thought strikes me, "what is it about a certain style of dress that advertises ones affection for the shrub?"

For surely, whether or not you consider yourself to be a judgmental person, there's just a certain look that is associated with the cannabis culture. Or maybe not so much the look as it is the the vibe of the individual cannabisseur. There's just something different about an person who has been enlightened by the herb.

Theres liberation in the way a person who smokes dresses. Smokers, (and not smokers who use the herb for more than just a good time at a party), who partake for spirituality, for growth, for relaxation, for creativity, these are the people that are free from the shackles of the impositions and standard norms of society. The sight of such liberation is a unicorn spectacle that can be mistaken for nothing more than freedom. True freedom is so rare, yet so unmistakeable, when you see a person who just is. They are not what you want or think or desire. They don't wear what you will find attractive or the latest trend, necessarily, but they are a leaf, floating in the wind, carried by grace yet they are also the tree, steadfast and firm, rooted in the knowledge that they are exactly who they are.

How wildly beautiful is that?

I hand the officer my license. He glances down then looks back at me with this sort of half smirk, as if he's trying to figure out if I'm fucking with him. I realize I've just handed him my girlfriends license.

Surely the gig is up. He's going to drug test me and I'm going to jail. I was having such a good day too.

I laugh it off and fumble around for my license. I don't have it. He informs me it doesn't matter anyway because my license is expired.

It's funny how quickly shit goes downhill. You know that feeling you get when you're driving in a car and hit a sudden sharp bump and your stomach drops? I wondered if the cop could see my anxiety.

I should just drive away.

"Go straight home, just get off the motorway, and get online and sort your license out."

Now I'm wondering, "is this guy fucking with me?", but I don't ask him. Instead I thank him profusely, making sure to throw lots of sirs in there, and drive away marveling that my hands were on the steering wheel and not in cuffs.

I couldn't help going back to it in my head though. I felt like a target because of the way I dress, and that's a shitty way to feel. It's not paranoia or without merit either. It's a completely valid point. The United States government has been on a smear campaign against Cannabis for decades and have littered people's minds with misinformation and flat out lies; so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there's such a negative connotation associated with stoners. We've all been led to believe that if you smoke the dope that you're lazy, pretty stupid, generally a leech to society and if you don't wind up getting stoned one day and accidentally blowing your face off with your dad's shotgun you'll most definitely move on to harder drugs and wind up suckin cock in public toilets to support your habit. (But if you don't do any of that, by some miracle, you'll simply amount to nothing.)

Some of the kindest, warmest, smartest people I have ever come into contact with were all dancing in the liberation of the herb. I suppose though, if a free man were to dance by a chained rabble of slaves, the envy of such a notion as uninhibited freedom would inspire great amounts of hate.

Sometimes people's logic confuses the shit out of me... but you know what, I'm high as shit right now and I'm not even sure what point I'm trying to make. I guess I'm still a bit frazzled that the cop who I was sure was going to mess with me, based on my appearance, gave me a break.

But here I am getting all deep and I haven't even introduced myself.

I'm James. James Munroe. I have two gorgeous daughters, I'm in a loving, dedicated relationship with my best friend, I've held the same job for the past 6 years and I smoke dope. Lots of it and as frequently as possible. I'll put it this way, I lasted 6 days on my last cleanse and it felt really strange to be sober.

And I don't see that as a bad thing at all. Cannabis has filled my life with a warmth that you just have to see for yourself to believe I guess. But don't take my word for it... actually, do. Do take my word for it. I won't try and change your mind, I'm by no means any kind of expert on Marijuana but sometimes we could all use a different perspective, so take my word for it and keep up with this blog to experience life the way I look at it.

Maybe we can learn something from each other.

Oh, I figured it out by the way- the point I was trying to make. I think what I am trying to say is we're all human. We're all prone to making judgements, but let's put those aside a give everyone a fair chance, whether they're a cop that you think is going to profile you, or whether they're a stoner that you think is a loser.

We're in this thing together, we may as well try and get along.

I gotta run for now, but I'll be around.

Peace,

James (The Under Cover Stoner Blog)