Bud Tampons (part of our "Through The Eyes Of A Stoner" Series, By James Munroe)
She'd been at the bar for about five minutes waiting on a girlfriend, who was apparently going to be late, before she decided to start on her own. Sixty minutes later; three cocktails in and she's going on, very passionately, about the pros of medical cannabis.
It's quite an animated spectacle really; spurred on at the frustration of her friend who clearly wasn't coming by now and fueled further by a few drinks and the hands are in the air, the brows furrowed and she sips her Martini at the end of each point as if to drive that last nail into the coffin. Generally all the signs of someone trying to communicate a very important point whilst slightly drunk are exhibited.
The conversation is directed mainly at me, but also generally to anyone who is close enough to hear. Every once in awhile she'll catch someone's eye and give them a matter of fact thumbs up. Despite the drinks, exaggerated gesturing and minute inebriation she was actually making some solid points.
I was midway through hearing about the new cannabis suppository “tampons” as compared to traditional tampons when he spoke up.
He had been nursing a single Tom Collins for the past hour, inadvertently subjecting himself to tampon girl's educational whimsy. “Bet ya they'll have to wind up putting those cannabis tampons behind the register on account of all the weed junkies trying to smoke them.” He continued staring down the well of his Tom Collins after he said it, expressionless.
I find it hard to deal with such ignorance.
Sure it can be funny to laugh at, but sadly it just goes to show not only the level of apathy we're up against in the push against the prohibition, but also the level of self imposed ignorance. I mean hey, ignorance isn't a negative thing. Sometimes if you don't know something you just don't know something, but some people simply believe what they want to believe and refuse to look at the evidence that brings those beliefs into question.
Have you ever come across a person who really thought they were making a valid point with an unfounded, unresearched and blatantly false understanding of what cannabis as a healer means and looks like? What makes such a conversation all the more enjoyable for me is when the misunderstood value of medicinal cannabis is held up against some over the counter pharmaceutical with health warnings that would make anyone think twice. But we're not even talking over the counter drugs here that are completely legal but come with lovely side effects like anal bleeding, diarrhea, vomiting and stroke.
We're talking about something that your 16 year old daughter can go buy.
There's a lethal warning label on tampons for Christ's sake.
“Beware, this tampon that's supposed to help you may actually kill you,” is basically what it says.
So, tampons can kill you. That's some scary shit right?
I'm confused though, is this sort of a common knowledge thing that I'm just now catching up on? People are cool with playing Russian Roulette with their bodies? (Many thanks to tampon girl for informing me.)
Maybe people seem to be so apathetic about the matter because the boxes are cleverly marketed to put your mind at ease with the injection of the word rare on the warning label, but really it's not that rare. 17 out of every 100,000 women will contract Toxic Shock Syndrome, (TSS), as a direct result from their tampons. Doesn't sound like a huge number either, I realize, but let's stand back for a sec and put that into the proper perspective. That's a ballpark figure of close to 4,120 cases of the syndrome annually, based on an estimated 7 billion world population. So big corporations feel comfortable using chemicals that put people's health and very lives on the line because TSS is so “rare?” Tell that to the 4,000 plus people that will have their lives affected by it this year.
The fun facts don't stop there though. Those chemical ingredients that have the potential to kill you? They have lots of funny, hard to pronounce names like procymidon and piperonyl butoxide, for example. (They're the brother and sister of sibling carcinogens BPS and BPA that add some sparkle to the impressive list of potential killers that's supposed to be inserted into a female's body.)
How about Dioxin? Do you know what that is? Dioxin is potentially carcinogenic and is toxic to the immune and reproductive systems, that's what it is. It has been linked to endometriosis as well as lower sperm counts for men. Just what a person should have inside of them.
So there's a divide of people who are aware of these risks and will welcome them unquestionably, or there's the people that simply don't realize the potential for harm that they risk every time they perform the simple task of buying a necessary hygiene product that they've no reason to believe would put their lives at risk… but there is a significant risk for harm and there is absolutely every reason to believe that their lives are at risk, because they are.
So now there are these tampon suppositories that have hit the market that are 100% organic and carrying absolutely zero fatal risk to the user, but people are stuck so far back in their archaic ‘weed is a dangerous drug’ mindset that they automatically spout off at the mouth with the first ludicrous, erroneous comments that spring to their mind.
“Bet ya they'll have to wind up putting those cannabis tampons behind the register on account of all the weed junkies trying to smoke them.”
Most people can recognize how obtuse that statement is but it's still scary that such an opinion represents the sort of knee jerk comment that is most certainly shared throughout much of the population.
"FORIA Relief has been carefully crafted using a delivery system intended to maximize the muscle relaxing and pain relieving properties of cannabis without inducing a psychotropic 'high,'" the product description reads, explaining that the cannabinoid compounds that make up the suppositories, which also contain Organic Fair Trade Cocoa Butter, block pain receptors in the ovaries, uterus and cervix. "The vaginal suppository format helps deliver the medicine directly to where it is needed most," the page explains. Basically, your vag gets stoned, not you.
People will balk at the idea of cannabis actually being a legitimate healer based on the negative way they've been led to believe that the drug affects a person, but they'll quietly continue to play with death by purchasing tampons that have far more villainous a past than this herb that we fight to liberate, rarely questioning the amount of danger that they're in.
Knowledge is power and misinformation is rife and we've got to set the record straight.
“I'll have another Martini, please,” ordered tampon girl, never taking her eyes off of disgruntled Tom Collins guy.
This shit was about to get real interesting. I had better run.
Until next time,