How to Spot a Green Out from a Mile Away!
The other day my wife’s cousin was on the phone, asking some advice about eating edibles. Her boyfriend and she were planning on eating some brownies and wanted to know about dosage and the likes.
I was in the room and could hear the conversation, and quickly inferred that at the end of the evening, one or perhaps both of them would end up greening out and falling into a never-ending hole of “OMFG!”
They scoffed at my warnings, and I simply said, “Just when that voice says, eat another one, I strongly advise you to NOT follow its advice!” They ignored me.
The following day – not that I particularly cared – the cousin was on the phone again, and my wife began laughing. “The boyfriend greened out!”
Not surprised I simply smiled and went about my day.
The truth is, I didn’t care whether the dude greened out of not, I tried to warn them but for me it was a train wreck in slow motion. I could see how every little bit of their actions began stacking one on top of the other until – GREEN OUT!
Let’s use the idiocy of others as an opportunity to learn about what not to do. In this article, I’m basically going to tell you how NOT to green out when you’re having fun!
Rule 1 – Don’t Drink before Eating Edibles!
While I didn’t mention this in the introduction, the two of them had been drinking all-day. This meant that they had a significant amount of alcohol in their system, and considering that when you’re eating edibles, it’s not the lungs that do the heavy lifting – but the liver!
Then there’s the whole, how the THC becomes more potent when it passes through this process. Meaning that even if you’re a “pro stoner”, the alcohol and the cannabis will override your system every single time.
I’ve greened out maybe on three occasions (that I can remember). Once was for overindulgence, but the other times was because I committed the cardinal sin – I drank before eating edibles.
For some reason, you’d be able to handle a small drink if it was the other way around, but if you drink before you consume weed – even smoking, it will give you a masterclass of your threshold for tolerance. Since these two were drinking prior to eating edibles, I knew it was almost a sure thing that the greenout was going to happen.
However, it wasn’t the only aspect that informed my conclusion.
Rule 2 – Don’t underestimate the power of drugs!
I have seen it hundreds of times. “Bro, this is a dud! This shit ain’t hitting! Nah man, I am not feeling it…must be bunk!”
Typically, after about twenty minutes you can see those same people running around like enchanted forest people, wallowing in the dirt understanding the futility of reality. Those people are also typically the ones that “want the ride to end” or “I just want it to come down now!” as if they have any control over that.
I mean, there are a few things you could do to knock yourself out of a trip, but this isn’t the article for that. We’re talking about the hubris of the drug user, thinking that “they can handle” it.
Nay my friends, you need to walk into a trip – this includes edibles – with respect. You cannot simply assume that “everything is going to be fine”. I classify edibles as a light hallucinogenic are at least a mild narcotic.
Meaning, you need to take the proper preparations when taking a substance of this caliber. You can’t just, “pop it and go for a drive”. That’s when stupid shit happens and that’s when you read headlines, “Idiot consumes drugs and plows through a cackle of nuns…do nuns cackle?”
When you’re going to take edibles for the first time you’re going to want to block out at least six hours of your day. Of course, not necessary if we’re talking about microdosing – however, this guide is about taking a full dose.
In all likeliness, you’ll have one or two edible pieces and see where it leads you. However, it’s important you approach it with respect. Drugs have a tendency to be able to go from “smooth sailing” to “HOLY SHIT WHAT WHO WHENST!” in a matter of minutes.
Therefore always have a safe space where you have everything you’ll need prepared ahead of time.
That way when the trip comes tra-la-la-ing to town, you can just sit back and enjoy the show.
Rule 3 – You’re not as powerful as you think!
This is a follow up to rule 2, in that – you aren’t as tough as you think. When it comes to edible, it’s very easy to go from “just enough” to “one too many”. And the difference between this magical threshold is severe.
Depending on the dark shit that you store in that twisted brain of yours, there’s a possibility that things can take a dark turn. I’ve had people tell me that they are seeing spirits coming out of the walls and shit. Just unconscious repressed energy they got stored up that came spilling out – but the interpretation of these unprocessed emotions, traumas, and pain, can be quite terrifying.
Fortunately, in the scenario I’m describing here, I was present. As a seasoned psychonaut, I’ve had my encounters with a fair share of “demonoids” and was able to talk the person through the experience, utilizing breathing, and mental focus.
It’s definitely a trip and can be quite cathartic, however, you need someone to guide you through these situations and in the story of my wife’s cousin – they didn’t have anyone with experience with them. The blind leading the blind, and when they found themselves in that territory – they had no idea how to handle themselves.
Rule 4 – Prepare for the Worst!
Whenever you’re taking drugs you should hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. When you know you have all your bases covered, even in the direst of situations – you can relax and enjoy the trip.
Knowing more or less what to expect when shit hits the fan creates a feeling of safety. For example, in a green out, you’re going to want to get away from noise, maybe dim the lights, have something cold to drink and maybe munch on something very easy to digest.
Preparing a “green out space” – preferably near a toilet (or bucket), you can go and fade into oblivion in peace – knowing that whatever you need can be a simple belly crawl away.
Having people that know how to act is also great. If they know you’re greening out, their only responsibility should be to check in on you periodically. A simple, “Hey man, you good?”
You’re only responsibility in this situation is to respond, “Yes” or some variant of it so that the people know you’re alive. The truth of the matter is that you’ll probably be “fucked” for a few hours, so “alive” is the benchmark.
Simply keep on breathing slow deep belly breaths, and try to relax through it all. Eventually you’ll come down. But don’t let your friends worry, just let them know you’re still hanging in there and they will bring you things if you need it.
Now, you can ride the snake until it fades and you emerge a different human being.
Rule 5 – Enjoy the Ride
As with psychedelics – once you consume it, it’s pretty much a done deal. You’re going to trip, so let go of trying to control it, and just let it flow!
The biggest issue with a green out is that people try to fight it. You can’t! The struggle only makes it worse. You need to abandon your need for control over your reality, and begin to only focus on breathing properly.
You’ll go through things, you might experience visual or auditory hallucinations, you might experience a slew of thoughts, some dark, some light, some stupid. There’s an infinite number of variables that influence your trip, therefore, you cannot possibly prepare for them all.
Acceptance is key. “I am tripping now!”
“What goes up, eventually goes down!”
“Breathe!”
The proper way of breathing in these situations is to take a four second inhalation, hold it for about seven seconds, and do a slow prolonged exhale for about eight seconds…then repeat.
This will instruct the nervous system to enter into rest and digest mode. If you’re tripping hard, you can also inhale deeply, hold your breath for about 15-20 seconds, and then exhale for 10-15 seconds as if you’re blowing through a straw. This will lower your heart rate and unload carbon dioxide, which would be building up due to shallow breathing.
The breath is key to riding out the hard times in a green out. And if you do this, you’ll quickly realize that it ain’t so bad, and that you’re more relaxed than ever, and that the thoughts left your brain, and your mind feels lighter….you respect weed a bit more.
A green out handled properly, can be a very transformative experience!
The Sticky Bottom Line
My wife’s cousin was fine. Her boyfriend was cocky. She knew when to quit, he kept on going. At the end of the day, the weed had to teach him a lesson.
The lesson is – don’t be an idiot! If you’re going to consume any kind of drug, including edibles, be prepared. There is no need to have a dire experience. With the proper preparation, you’ll always have a good time.
Since I learned how to avoid unpleasant drug situations, I haven’t had a “bad trip” in nearly twenty years.
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