The absolute madness of the 2025 timeline and why predicting the future is a fool's errand.

Well, folks, 2025 has been one hell of a year, hasn't it?

It feels like we’ve been strapped into a rollercoaster designed by a sadistic engineer with a serious grudge against common sense. Looking back, it’s hard to believe we survived the whiplash. We saw Congress effectively torch a $32 billion hemp industry with a pen stroke, handing a thriving economic sector directly to the black market because heaven forbid people get high without Big Pharma’s permission. We sat back and watched the "Scromiting" propaganda blitz try to convince us that a rare condition was a zombie apocalypse, all while the Trump administration signed an Executive Order for Schedule III that turned out to be nothing more than a corporate wet dream for Big Pharma disguised as reform.

And let’s not forget the irony of the Chevron Doctrine dying, throwing the entire legal framework into disarray. It was the year that federal policy reached peak confusion—a contradictory mess where even the lawyers couldn't figure out if we were winning or losing.

And if you think 2026 is going to be any different, I’ve got a bridge to sell you. The chaos isn't slowing down; it’s just shifting gears. We’re entering a new phase where the only constant is unpredictability.

As people may know, I have long stopped trying to predict the future, especially since everything has become so volatile and quick-iterating that knowing what the future brings is definitely not something I'm going to bet money on.

Trying to make sense of cannabis policy in America right now is like trying to nail Jell-O to a wall while riding a unicycle backwards. You’re just going to fall on your ass.

So, if the external world is determined to stay on this psychotic trajectory, what the hell are we supposed to do?

Finding Center When the World Spins Out

Let's cut through the bullshit. You cannot control what happens in Washington D.C. You can't control the DOJ's latest crackdown or the next hypocritical policy shift from the "anti-drug" administration. Trying to fight the tidal wave of insanity head-on is a quick way to drown in anxiety.

But here's where it gets interesting: while the external world becomes more chaotic, it's important to begin to look inwards and see what your role in all of this is and how you can move forward despite the chaos.

Think about it. The powers that be want you reactive. They want you scared, distracted, and constantly fighting the latest brushfire so you don't notice the forest burning down. But when you ground yourself, when you turn that analytical lens inward, you become untouchable. The stoner's greatest asset isn't just the plant; it's the perspective.

This isn't about sticking your head in the sand. It’s about tactical disengagement from the narratives that don't serve you. You need to find your center in the storm. When the news cycle is screaming about "Reefer Madness 2.0" or the fake victory of Schedule III, your internal state should be the fortress of solitude where logic and peace reside.

So, how do you do that in a world that refuses to make sense?

You start by defining your purpose outside of their manufactured chaos. You stop playing their game. Instead of being a pawn in their drug war chess match, you become the player who flips the board.

Your role isn't to be a victim of policy; it's to be a master of your own experience. When you stop reacting to the insanity and start acting with intent, the noise fades into the background. You realize that while they may control the laws, they don't control your mind or your high.

That’s power. That’s where we start to win. And win we must!

The Stoner’s Guide to Anti-Resolutions

Therefore, this year, when you make your stoner resolution, why not make it a bit different?

Seriously, look at the track record for New Year's resolutions. They’re basically a tradition of setting yourself up to fail. Gyms are packed in January and empty by February. People quit smoking for three days and then chain-smoke when they realize their boss is still a jerk. It’s performative self-punishment wrapped in the shiny paper of "self-improvement."

This year, why don't you create a more purpose-defining objective?

 Something that actually enhances your life rather than restricting it. Forget "losing weight" or "working harder." Let's focus on living better. My personal approach involves three simple questions that cut through the noise and get straight to the meat of existence.

First: What's one thing I'd like to do more of?

Notice I didn't say "add to your plate." This isn't about new burdens. This is looking at 2025 and finding the diamonds in the rough. Maybe you found a specific strain that actually made you productive. Maybe it was hiking, or reading, or simply smoking a joint on the porch without checking your phone. If it brought you joy, do it more. It’s that simple. It’s about doubling down on what works.

Second: What's one thing I'd like to do less of?

This is the trap-avoidance strategy. What’s one thing you think if you were to do it less, you'd have a greater enjoyment of life? Maybe it’s doom-scrolling the news about the next election or the next federal ban. Maybe it’s hanging out with people who drain your energy. Identify the toxicity and subtract it. You don't need to replace it with anything; just remove the negative and watch your life improve.

Third: What's one new thing you'd like to try?

This is not a new habit or a commitment to become a marathon runner. It could be a one-time-thing but must be an experience you have never done before. Go to a dispensary in a state you haven't visited. Try cooking a gourmet stoner meal. Finally watch that movie everyone’s been talking about. Just one new spark to remind your brain that novelty still exists.

Unlike regular new year's resolutions, these aren't about setting yourself up to fail. It's about finding out who you are, improving on what you enjoy, diminishing what you don't, and stepping out of your comfort zone. It’s about intentional living in an unintentional world.

Exhaling the Past

This new year's, I'll be smoking my joint while everyone's drinking, reflecting on what has happened.

For me personally, 2025 was a motherfucker, but it also allowed me to grow, and for that, I am grateful. We saw the worst of the hypocrisy—the fake pardons, the corporate takeovers, the propaganda. But we also survived it. We kept the culture alive when they tried to legislate it out of existence. That resilience is worth celebrating.

I'll end off the year in gratitude, and start the next one in gratitude as well. Not because the system is fixed—it isn't. Not because the politicians are suddenly honest—they never will be. But because we are still here, still fighting, and still high on our own supply.

The chaos outside isn't going away, but the peace inside? That’s untouchable if you nurture it.

May the sweet scent of mary jane always be wafting in your vicinity—Happy New Year's fellow stoners.

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