What is the Most Obnoxious-Type of Cannabis Hater?

What is Worst-Type of Cannabis Critic?

weed haters

Reefer-madness-religiosos. Bud bigots. Federal law fundamentalists. Chances are that if you've begun to read this little diatribe you’ve been affected by this special species of human. Maybe it was a stranger. Maybe it was that rotund, bull-necked preacher who did nothing but spit the danger of hellfire concerning, mainly, three things: fornication, lust and and the scourge of substance abuse. We all know someone who loves to hate on weed, right? But the cunning of the American propaganda machine is so sly that some people have anti-pot mindsets so deeply ingrained within their psyche and they haven’t the faintest clue.

Keep an eye out for these signs if you suspect someone you love may be suffering from double-dealing dank discrimination:

They Drink Alcohol like a fish on the weekend, but don’t smoke.

I’m not here to hate on booze at all. Honestly? I love the stuff. It’s hard to beat a day of kayaking in the summer sun with a sixer of day-sess IPA’s secured in the luggage hatch. I’ll even admit to the existence of more than one video in which I am doing my best Swayze impersonation on an empty dance floor, (so I’m a sucker for an open bar tab and a dance floor at weddings- and what of it?)

Some experts suggest that over 51% of our great nation’s population aged 18 or older admit to being regular drinkers. 1 in 10 pregnant women admit to drinking alcohol while pregnant.

Alcohol intake adversely affects virtually all of the bodies organs and can lead to a host of medical maladies. John Barleycorn’s special sauce is also the 4th leading cause of death in the United States out of every other cause. On average over 88,000 Americans give up the ghost each year due to alcohol related causes.

Know how many deaths were caused by grass straight from the crust of Mother Earth last year? Yup. Zero. In fact, Cannabis can actually help to treat several of the ailments caused by binge drinking.

Now let me be clear, I’m not saying don’t drink. I’m saying don’t be a dick. Make an informed opinion about which substance you’d like to enjoy during your free time and for the love of God, don’t be the person at Saturday night’s party who can barely keep their head up, hating on the stoners smoking a doob by the fire.

They believe that Cannabis kills brain cells.

Get with the program folks. This is the oldest swale of horseshit to ever be produced by the reefer madness rumor mill. Try feeding that cockamame codswallop to world-renowned astrophysicist Carl Sagan, author of over 600 scientific papers and several books.

The cosmic genius, having earned the title of “Astronomer of the People” throughout his career, had this to say about the vilified herb, (after admitting that he used it regularly), “The illegality of cannabis is outrageous, an impediment to full utilization of a drug which helps produce the serenity of insight, sensitivity and fellowship so desperately needed in this increasingly mad and dangerous world.”

Maybe people like Carl Sagan are exceptions to the rule. They’re so smart they must have a few trillion brain cells to spare right?

Medical professionals these days disagree. What some have found, is actually quite the opposite, studies revealing only very small impairment in memory and learning among long-term smokers. Lester Grinspoon, MD, a retired psychiatrist of Harvard Medical School and student of Medicinal Marijuana since the 1960’s had this to say on the matter, “Marijuana is a remarkably safe and non-toxic drug… I suspect it will become the Aspirin of the 21st century as more people realize this.”

So if you refrain from smoking to keep from being dumbed-down, you, my friend, have been duped.

They like to smoke it, but not too often... they don’t want to get addicted...

Seriously? I don’t even know where to begin with this one.

NIDA suggests that over 9% of the population who smoke pot will develop a physically dependent habit. Other experts suggest that Cannabis can become addictive, but not physically, only habitually.

I’m not here to argue with either of these standpoints. As much as it makes me cringe to say there’s a chance that Cannabis can become physically addictive, acknowledging the possibility is necessary. It seems arrogant to claim a blanket statement that covers the entire human race. People are different. Genetics, family history, there’s a slew of things that comes into play when considering the different ways in which addiction displays itself, but in saying that, can’t anything that feels good become addictive?

Shit, sugar is addictive and no one seems to be getting their feathers ruffled over some soda-guzzling glutton feeding their faces with all manners of processed saccharine. How about we make sugar illegal too? After all, research shows that sugar is the culprit that plays a part in over 184,000 deaths each year. (That’d rank it as the 3rd leading cause of death in the United States.)

Moral of the story? Be honest with yourself. If your Cannabis use, or the use of any other substance for that matter, is getting in the way of your responsibility it may be time to evaluate your priorities. The chances of this are quite small in the scheme of things, and proper self-evaluation is key to eliminating any negative influences in your life.

Look, the bottom line is this: don’t be an asshole. (For strains on how to treat this condition please click on this link.) If someone you love exhibits any of the above signs, approach the subject delicately. We’re all family in this fight and change is only victorious when rooted in unity.

And hey, if you’ve gone through this little diddy and found that you fall within some of these categories, but don’t feel the need to change your perspective, at least do your research and develop an informed opinion. Don’t be the idiot who buys into a century old smear campaign just because big brother said that we should all pass on the grass.

That being said, I’ve got some serious thinking to do… anyone have a lighter?