Is it better to be in a stoner relationship?

Should You Try and Date a Stoner Chick or Guy? from CannabisNet on Vimeo.

“People that smoke together, stay together” is a statement that you might run across when searching the internet. It means, people who smoke weed together tend to last longer than those who don’t. Is this true?

Well, there is a hint of truth in this, but it isn’t the law of the land. There are many stoner relationships that have ended badly. This is because weed isn’t a relationship cure-all. People still have interpersonal issues regardless of the amount of THC coursing through their veins.

However, there are certain relationship combinations that do not work, and this is what we’re going to be talking about today.

Stoner Loves Stoner

The first example we’ll be looking at are 100% pure stoner relationships. This means that both partners within the relationship partake of the sacred herb.

What are the benefits?

Shared Cultural/Habitual Activities

Deeper understanding of the likes/dislikes of your partner

Cannabis can serve as a mediator when things are “hot”

Stress/Tension reduction dynamics

More empathy

Cannabis can help facilitate a relationship for a number of reasons. Firstly, knowing that you and your partner both smoke, means that you share a cultural appreciation for the plant. Your habits, likes and dislikes are much more likely to align.

Furthermore, cannabis also helps you when things get “hot”. By hot we mean, the inevitable fights that happen when you’re in a relationship.

When people get angry, they develop tunnel vision. Their point is the most important point and they need to win the argument. However, after a few puffs, you can set your ego aside for a moment and try to understand the issue from your partner’s perspective.

Cannabis also helps with stress management within the relationship, giving you a chance to breathe and think more clearly about your actions and choices within the relationship.

Stoner Loves Non Stoner

In this scenario, depending on the disposition of the non-stoner in the relationship, it could work or fail. The only way a stoner-non-stoner relationship can work is if the non-stoner is 100% okay with the stoner toking up.

If you hear, “You can smoke weed but I don’t want to see you doing it”, you’re already in a bad spot. This is because there is a subconscious form of judgement from the non-stoner. When they say, “You can smoke weed but I don’t want to see you doing it”, they mean…”I don’t want to see you high”.

This means you have to hide your habit from your significant other. It means that you will always feel judgement if you are baked. You can’t relax and simply smoke a joint.

Furthermore, a disposition like that means that you are not sharing a significant part of your life. There is a large portion of your self-identity that isn’t being developed alongside your partner.

As you can imagine, this will cause problems down the line.

The only way a non-stoner-stoner relationship can work is if the non-stoner is 100% okay with the stoner toking up. No judgements.

It’s not necessary for people to smoke weed together to have a functional relationship. There just needs to be a mutual respect for the individual within the relationship.

The Deal Breaker

If you’re in a relationship where your habit of smoking weed is forbidden by your partner, I’m sorry to say but your relationship is doomed. This is of course, unless you decide to quit smoking weed for your partner.

Of course this is an option, but even then…if you are forced to give up something you like to do to be accepted by your partner…it means that your partner doesn’t accept you for who you are.

This means that they don’t love YOU, but a version of you they would like to have. To them, you are a work in process and should be saved.

Furthermore, if you’re saying “I’ll smoke on the down low”, then you are the problem in the relationship. You’re immediately engaging in deception and a relationship cannot be sustained on lies. You are cheating on your partner with Mary Jane.

“BUT I LOVE HER/HIM!” you might say with teary eyes.

Sure, you might love him or her…but the relationship is not built on trust, respect and acceptance. It’s based on a condition which will slowly choke out all and any love you might have for the person.

Final Thoughts

I fortunately have a partner that smokes with me. It’s great. It doesn’t mean we don’t have relationship problems, but rather that we share a common ground.

We can learn and explore together. If my partner would ever decide to not smoke weed, I’d be okay with it as long as she doesn’t prohibit me from smoking weed.

Mutual respect is the key to a healthy relationship. The number one relationship killer is contempt. If you’re not allowed to be yourself, then there is contempt within the relationship and you’re currently on a slow decent to a break up.