Stoned Boning is better than Booze Boning
Sex: the ultimate human pastime and, let's face it, the only thing keeping our species from fading into oblivion. It's been around since, well, forever. But lately, something strange is happening in bedrooms across the globe. We're doing it less.
Yeah, you heard that right. The younger generations are experiencing a sexual recession. A 2021 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that adults in the U.S. are having sex less frequently than they did 20 years ago. The reasons? Take your pick: stress, technology, changing social norms, or maybe we're just too busy scrolling through TikTok.
But it's not just America. Globally, population growth is slowing down faster than a cold shower. Japan's facing a "celibacy syndrome," and even in Italy, land of lovers, birth rates are plummeting. Some blame dating apps for making human connection as disposable as a swipe left. Others point to economic pressures, with millennials and Gen Z too broke and stressed to get busy.
So, what's a sexually frustrated species to do? Well, a new study might have an answer, and it involves our old friends Mary Jane and Jack Daniels. Researchers have been comparing the effects of cannabis and alcohol on sexual satisfaction, and the results are... interesting.
But before we dive into the juicy details, let me ask you this: when it comes to enhancing your bedroom adventures, would you rather be stoned or sloshed? The answer might surprise you...
A Quick Overview of the Study
Alright, let's dive into the nitty-gritty of this titillating research. The study, published in Revista Internacional de Andrología, set out to compare the effects of Spain's two most popular drugs - alcohol and cannabis - on sexual experiences. Now, you might think this was just an excuse for some scientists to have a good time, but trust me, it's serious business. Well, as serious as research about getting high and getting it on can be.
The researchers rounded up 483 brave souls who had previously indulged in both alcohol and cannabis. These participants were then subjected to what I can only imagine was a very interesting online survey. They were given a series of statements about their sexual experiences under the influence of each substance and asked to respond. It's like a really adult version of "Would You Rather.", what about marijuana-based sex toys?
Now, here's where things get juicy. When it comes to facilitating sexual encounters, alcohol seems to be the wingman of choice. It's like liquid courage, but for your libido. The study found that booze increased elements of sexual attraction - making people feel more attractive, more extroverted, and more desirous. It's basically beer goggles, but scientifically proven.
However, when it comes to actual sexual satisfaction, Mary Jane takes the cake. The researchers found that cannabis users "have more sensitivity and they are more sexually satisfied than when they consume alcohol." In fact, 19% of respondents said marijuana improved their sexual experience, compared to a measly 8.4% who said the same about alcohol. It seems that while alcohol might get you through the door, cannabis is the key to unlocking a more satisfying experience.
But wait, there's more! The study also found that cannabis promotes orgasm, excitement, and helps people relax during sexual encounters. It "accentuates the sensitivity to physical contact and increases satisfaction." In other words, it's like a full-body enhancement for your sexy times.
Now, before you go running to your nearest dispensary (or dealer, depending on where you live), let's pump the brakes a bit. The researchers themselves admit that these results should be "considered with some caution." The non-random nature of the survey means we can't necessarily apply these findings to the general population. It's possible that the type of person who voluntarily participates in a study about drugs and sex might have different experiences than your average Joe or Jane.
However, don't dismiss this study just yet. While it may not be the final word on drugs and sex, it's still a significant piece of research. For too long, we've relied on anecdotal evidence and urban myths when it comes to the effects of substances on our sex lives. This study represents a step towards a more scientific understanding of how cannabis and alcohol interact with our bodies and our bedrooms.
Moreover, this research is part of a growing body of literature examining the relationship between cannabis and human sexuality. It adds to the conversation about the potential benefits of cannabis use in certain circumstances, including sexual function. And let's be honest, any research that might lead to better sex is research worth paying attention to.
It's also worth noting that this study touches on an important aspect of the human condition. Sex isn't just about reproduction; it's about connection, pleasure, and well-being. By examining how different substances affect our sexual experiences, we're gaining insight into how we can potentially enhance this fundamental aspect of human life.
In the end, while this study shouldn't be taken as gospel, it does provide food for thought. It challenges our preconceptions about alcohol as the go-to social lubricant and suggests that cannabis might have more to offer in the bedroom than we previously thought. It opens up new avenues for research and discussion about the role of substances in our sex lives.
So, the next time you're considering a nightcap before a romantic evening, you might want to consider trading that glass of wine for a different kind of grass. Just remember, whatever you choose, consent and safety should always come first. And maybe keep a bottle of water handy - cotton mouth is nobody's friend in the bedroom.
Cannabis in an A-Sexual World
Let's face it, folks - we're living in a world that's becoming increasingly... well, unsexy. It's like we've stumbled into some bizarre alternate reality where everyone's too busy, too distracted, or too damn picky to get it on. And let me tell you, this isn't just a problem for frustrated singles - it's a crisis for humanity itself.
Think about it. We've got a smorgasbord of OnlyFans models flashing their goodies, young men drowning in a sea of virtual titillation, and a million other entertainment options vying for our attention. It's no wonder actual, physical sex is taking a backseat. We're too busy swiping, scrolling, and streaming to bump uglies.
And don't even get me started on social media. We're all living in our own little digital bubbles, getting our fix of human connection through likes and comments. It's all the validation without any of the messy, sweaty reality of actual human contact.
Then there's the whole "the world is going to hell in a handbasket" mentality. Climate change, wars, economic uncertainty - it's enough to make anyone think twice about bringing a kid into this mess. But here's the kicker: if we don't start making more babies, we're looking at a "Children of Men" scenario. And trust me, that's not a future any of us want.
But here's where things get really tricky. We've created a world where nothing seems good enough anymore. Thanks to apps and sites like OnlyFans, we've set impossibly high standards for sexiness. Young women are holding out for rich guys, while young men are chasing after unattainable Instagram models. It's a recipe for sexual frustration on a global scale.
So, how do we fix this mess? Well, that's where our good friend Mary Jane might be able to lend a hand (or a leaf). See, cannabis isn't just about getting high - it's about enhancing experiences and fostering deeper connections. And according to this new study, it might just be the secret sauce for better sex.
Now, I'm not saying weed is going to solve all our problems. But if it can help people have more satisfying sexual experiences, maybe it can also help them form stronger, more lasting bonds. Let's face it, this "hit it and quit it" culture isn't doing us any favors in the long run.
Here's my advice: Young men, get out there and start talking to real women. Not through an app, not in a DM, but face-to-face. And ladies, cut the young guys some slack. Men are like fine wines - they get better with age. That broke 25-year-old might be a diamond in the rough.
At the end of the day, we need to start connecting on a deeper level. We need to rediscover love, intimacy, and yes, baby-making. Cannabis might just be the tool we need to break down some barriers and get vulnerable with each other.
Is it a perfect solution? Hell no. But in a world that's becoming increasingly disconnected and desexualized, we need all the help we can get. So maybe, just maybe, the key to saving humanity isn't in some high-tech lab or political treaty. Maybe it's in that little green plant that's been with us all along.
So light up, love up, and for the sake of humanity, get busy. Our species might just depend on it. Two drinks for courage – one joint for pleasure!
CANNABIS AND ED DRUGS, READ ON...
