August is a good month for great ideas and for love, what does your future hold?
August is a good month for great ideas and for love, what does your future hold?

Stoner Horoscopes

Week of July 29-August 4, 2016

Posted by:
Laurie Lyons on Friday Jul 29, 2016

Sadly, summer is coming to a close and early August is a good time to focus on responsibilities and taking care of things that you may have been putting off. Be sure to leave some time for yourself, though! We wouldn’t want your stash to grow lonely without you.

 

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You may be feeling a bit overwhelmed by responsibilities as August begins, and for now you should really lean into focusing on those responsibilities. Sure summer is a time for fun, but summer is coming to an end. Don’t worry, things will let up some toward the middle of the month, and you’ll be able to have fun again. In the meantime, be sure to give yourself plenty of mental health breaks with a relaxing strain like Blue Dream or Cherry Pie.

 

Taurus (April 20-May 20) 

Your to-do list may be increasingly long at the the beginning of August, but there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have a little fun while knocking that list down. Before you get started, blaze one up and create a great summer stoner playlist to help get you motivated. If you need a bit of creative inspiration, try a sativa like Kali Mist or hybrid like Cinderella 99 and maybe some of her woodland friends will come help you get some of your chores done.

 

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Issues in a personal relationship will likely come to a boiling point in the month of August, and you will need to face those issues head on if you think that you’re going to ultimately preserve this relationship. Be ready to stick up for yourself and to explain your side of things with logic and evidence. Once the confrontation is done, reward yourself with one of the best edibles of 2016 and a relaxing afternoon.

 

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

August is a good month for great ideas, so make sure to plan some time around exploring those ideas and spending time in contemplation. Once you’ve got some strong outlines going, be sure to discuss your ideas with those close to you, especially the smarter and more business savvy buddies. If your idea happens to be a weed enterprise, here are a few ideas about getting it funded.

 

Leo (July 23-August 22)

 A new, mysterious person may enter your life this month. They may be a new friend, business ally, or potential romantic partner. That mysteriousness may hide a more dangerous side, which may be attractive to you. It’s important to do your homework and make sure that the danger is just on the outside before really committing to a long-term relationship with them; Try a dab session with your new pal to really get to know them on a deeper level.

 

Virgo (August 23-September 22)

The skeptic in you should be on high alert early in the month, as some shady ideas might be coming your way. Believing in the fallacies could potentially have major negative consequences, so don’t take them lightly. Start by learning to be a skeptic in your social media -- that Tommy Chong is dead story is floating around Facebook again -- practice your Snopes skills and be sure to not share it when you see it.

 

Libra (September 23-October22)

August is a great month for love, whether that means finding someone new or strengthening your current relationship. Take this month to put more energy into your love life than usual and you’ll likely find that other areas of your life will improve. One way of strengthening your bond might be to try a new after-sex strain that will help bring you even closer together.

 

Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

Unfortunately, you may find yourself needing to tighten your belt a bit during August, but this is just temporary. As the month passes, any financial issues should rectify themselves. In the meantime, building some extra money saving habits certainly couldn’t hurt, so try this tip to save nearly 50% on your weed purchases.

 

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21)

This is a good time for you to pull out your calendar and start making some appointments that you may have been putting off. Call your doctor, make an appointment with your dentist, or maybe even just plan an overdue brunch with mom. Either way, suck it up and just get over with whatever you’ve been avoiding.

 

Capricorn (December 22-January 19)

Get back to your roots this weekend by spending time working in the garden, churning your compost, and just plain getting dirty in nature. It may be boiling hot outside, but a little sweat and dirt may be just the catharsis that you need to get through whatever may be causing you stress right now.

 

Aquarius (January 20-February 18)

This is a good week for you to spend some time experimenting with new things. Whether it’s making up a new recipe for edibles, rearranging your furniture, or trying to turn dabs into e-juice, stoke your creative side a bit and get busy making a mess and working your way through the scientific process.

 

Pisces (February 19-March 20)

Feeling a little snacky lately, Pisces? Spending time in your beloved bodies of water as the summer comes to a close will do that to you. If you’re looking for a snack at the store, grab a bag of Cheetos and indulge in some classic stoner fun. Their contest to populate the Cheetos Museum ends soon, and your excuse to overindulge in orangey, dusty goodness does, too.


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