The 6 Steps To Become a JEDI STONER

The Evolution of a Stoner

The 6 Steps to Becoming a Jedi Stoner - Stoned, I Am from CannabisNet on Vimeo.

Do you remember the first time that you toked up or rather; do you remember the first time you got high on weed? For many, their first time ever smoking didn’t do much. It’s a weird phenomenon, but for some, the high only came the second time around.

Not me, I got lit beyond recognition the first time I smoked and it only got better from there. Take note however that the first time I smoked I did consume more than an ounce of the stuff with my weed mentor.

Over the years however, my toking habits changed. I evolved as a stoner and have witnessed the evolution of stoner from the many acolytes I have created since my “stoner conception”.

Over my two decades of smoking I have noticed trends and perhaps this rings true for you.

happy stoners

Phase One: The Conception of Stoner

The first part I dubbed the “Conception” state of stoner. This is when you are completely ignorant to the plant, perhaps you have ‘heard’ about it, but the sweet Cheeba has never touched your lips. For most, your first experience with cannabis derives from the graces of your weed mentor.

Your weed mentor could be a friend, a family member or even a stranger at a festival that offers you the first toke. Some will get high, others won’t but this is the conception of stoner.

I think, the reason why some don’t get high or at least don’t perceive themselves to be ‘high’ is due to the freshness of the experience. You don’t have anything to compare it with and thus even though you are high, you might not ‘feel high’. Nonetheless, you are only conceived as a stoner the first moment you feel high. Thus it might be the first time you smoked or the second, but the moment you are baked…you are in the beginning stages of stoner.

Phase Two: The Infatuation of Stoner

Once you have experienced the bliss of cannabis, you become infatuated with it. I remember that in the beginning phases of my “stonevolution” I couldn’t wait to get baked again. With my limited access to the plant at that time, weekends with friends were one of my most sought after experiences.

Come Friday, at the end of school…we would go somewhere and blaze up. In fact, it was the high point of my week for a few months.

During this phase, you are what we call a “scavenger stoner”; someone who doesn’t own weed but likes to smoke it. Depending on where you live, this phase could last weeks or even months.

Phase Three: The Acceptance of Stoner

During the third stage of the stoner evolution, you have accepted the fact that you like to smoke weed and bumming off others simply won’t cut it anymore. Thus, you finally go out to procure your first baggy ever. Perhaps a friend hooked you up or took you to the dealer, but the moment you have made the exchange, you are now a full-fledged stoner.

You toke up at your house and realize that a baggy doesn’t last as long as you thought it would. Therefore, you will scale up on baggy size according to your budget and accessibility.

lazy stoner

Phase Four: The Glutton of the Stoner

You’re now buying your own sacks. See, a baggy is small…a sack is like buying wholesale. When I entered the fourth stage of the stoner evolution, I was buying anywhere between a pound to a pound and a half a month. Note however that I did live in Mexico at the time and was able to buy pounds of decent weed for about $80 USD.

With this mass amount of cannabis, you smoke bongs, blunts and whatever you can to finish it. You don’t even care about the roaches (unless you are creating a roach graveyard for re-rolling later). Obviously, I didn’t smoke the pound by myself, I had a little help from my friends.

The point here is that you are gluttonous about your weed. You like to get as much of it as possible into your system in any way you can whether through bongs or baked goods.

The glutton phase can last for several years and wake and bakes are totally part of your daily routine.

Phase Five: The Discovery of the Stoner Zenith

After a few years, you have developed a strong relationship with cannabis. You know when to smoke and when to be sober. You have reached the highest point in your stoner evolution and can discern when you should smoke and when you should abstain.

There is a sense of maturity that has developed in your smoking habits and you can balance the desire to be high with the need to be productive.

Now I know that some of you are like, “Weed doesn’t affect my productivity” and for some it’s true. However, for many of us, we get side-tracked when we smoke weed. Me personally, I prefer to play the guitar or do some creative works under the influence and would rather not write a report on marketing for a chair manufacturing company. However, after years of toking, I have established a system of rewards…I’ll do the crappy work sober, and reward myself with a fat blunt at the end of the work.

Stoners in the third and fourth stages of the stoner evolution hardly are able to implement abstinence in their smoking habits. For them it’s all about intake, and the Zenith stoner understands that ‘There is a season for everything’.

blunts

Phase Six: Mastery of Stoner

In the sixth and final stage of the stoner evolution, you have become a master. You have tried every conceivable way of consuming cannabis. You now know how to use edibles accordingly, when to smoke and when not to. You understand that ‘weed isn’t everything’ but it sure makes everything a lot better.

You are a fully functional stoner, able to sustain your habits and manage your life effectively.

For me, this means I only toke up at night times. I am an adult now and have adult things to take care of. Nonetheless, weed is my “kick off my shoes and relax a bit” habit after a long day of working. Granted, my work involves making videos, writing blogs and managing social media accounts for corporations, but hey…that shit can get tiring.

In the Mastery phase, you know yourself and how weed interacts with you and make responsible decisions of when to partake.

Reefer’s Final Words

While this might not be true for everyone, I have seen enough people throughout my twenty years of smoking to be able to generalize the experience for everyone. So what do you think, in which stage of the stoner evolution are you currently in?

How To Become a JEDI STONER In 6 Easy Steps